Jin was rolling around in his bed wanting only one thing right now which was the pain from his aching headache and the soreness of his dry throat to disappear, of all the days he had to get himself sick, how on earth he got sick he had no idea, for now he couldn’t worry about that; for the rest of the day he had to be a useless person until he was better. Jin slowly pushing himself out of the bed needing a glass of water, the sudden movement caused his head started pounding making Jin curse at the sudden ache before he sat on the side of the bed, his luck the headache started to ease a little. As soon as he lifted himself up the bed soon he could stand his knees started to feel like jelly at the pain of his ache head struck him again falling to the ground with a thud being paralysed by the flu overtaking his body.
“Shit...” Jin cursed in his thought “damn, stupid flu, I just want some damn water…” Jin whined “water…” Jin said in whisper he saw someone in front him by he couldn’t tell who it was all he see a blurry image of a mere shadow for he knew it his eyelids felt so heavy all of a sudden.
He could hear someone calling his name, Jin’s eyelids refuse to open at that moment because they were so tired and heavy but he was really thirsty so repeated “water..” to the shadow in front of him for a moment he felt shadow touch him, it was so warm just like ryu’s touch
“Why do you, a mere shadow have such warmth…” Jin mumbled in rasping tone before letting out a pain cough making the person worry, in that moment a cup a was brought to Jin’s lips gently, he gladly excepted it without hesitation because his throat was really dry feeling a little better that the water soothering his just a little before curling back onto the bed to sleep more, hoping to sleep the aching headache away. The person was about to get up and leave but as soon as the person did Jin unconsciously reached out and grabbed the person’s hand
“Please, don’t go please stay here with me, even though you are only a mere shadow to me, you saved me, so please stay don’t go, even though a figure of my imagination, please don’t leave me...” Jin said with a smile when he saw the shadow sit down beside him, feeling the cold hand that grabbed his own
“you have cold hands, but yet they feel so warm to me, just like my ryu, my one and only love disappeared in front of me, and I regretted it for years because I couldn’t do anything. “I’m powerless, until now I still am, please don’t disappear, just stay with me, I don’t want anymore regrets because it hurts too much” with that Jin smiled “thank you…” Jin said as he drifted back to sleep.
That night Jin shifted in his position in the bed before fluttering his eyes open looking at his clock as it read 12:30AM as he moaned turning to other side only to see a person on the side of his bed. Jin instantly panicked as he jumped up while he held his headache from getting up too fast as he making the other stir in his sleep with arm that was covering his face drop to the side of him revealing a face Jin knew too well.
“Ryu….”was Jin could say as he stared at the boy for a long time, thinking was the boy doing here when around the room he could see a steel bowl of water and a tray of with an empty bowl of food with a box of flu tablets and medicine on the side. For a second a few coughs crept up his sore throat making the boy’s slowly flutter his eyes open, Jin quickly got back into the bed and closed his eyes pretending to be still asleep. Kazuya turned smile at the sleeping, feeling a little happy Jin had gotten his colour back, and he wasn’t so pale looking as he yesterday getting up where is was sitting picking the pail with him to the bathroom to fill the steel bow with freshwater returning to the room as he dipped the towel into the warm before placing twisting the access water from it and placing it onto the older man’s forehead firmly with a sad smile watching the other sleep peacefully. Remembered the last time when the same sleep but it was when they were happy they were only depending on each back then, it was the happiest moment of his life.
Ryu curled up on his side in Jin’s bed in his naked glory as he stared at the sleep other with a smile, reaching out to touch the strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes pushing it away with a smile. When Ryu withdrew his hand away Jin caught it in mid-air making the teenager smile widened before pouting at the older who was pretending to be a sleep.
“Jin….”Ryu whined to his boyfriend, before he was pulled into the embrace of the older man’s arms as ryu instantly relaxed into the warmth of the older man’s body “It’s already it’s 12pm, it’s time to get up…” Ryu tried again as mumbled into the teenagers shoulder “10 minutes…”the older man said making the younger man giggle at that sleepy cuteness
“I want to stay like this with you, for another 10 minutes… can I?” As ryu pouted suddenly feeling in embarrassed “Can I lease get changed first?” Ryu said blushing realising that he was naked and Jin was hugging him, he could his shivering not from the cold the man’s gently touches on his skin as Jin moved closer to his ear smirking “no, because I like you like this...”Jin smirked wider when the smaller frame tried again to wiggle out of older man’s iron grip around his slender body
“You damn pervert…” Ryu squeaked, before he was tackled to the bed and kiss roughly with Jin taking his breathe away in that one moment
Thinking about that day again gave him goosebumps everytime, how he wanted to feel the older man’s strong arms captivate him again, those arms that made him feel and so secure once he was locked in them, so safe. When he was wrapped in the man’s arms why was he thinking of such negative thoughts that time, when he felt so secure. ‘God, he was a really stupid child back then’ he admitted in his thoughts for choosing the wrong side from that day forward. Turning back to the older man who kazuya thought was sleeping as he smiled
“Do you remember Akanishi-san, that day when we were closer than ever, when I snuggled me closer to you all that I was worth?” kazuya asked smile “that was the happiest day of my high school life, where I really felt I belong to the world together with you and that I had fallen in love with someone who actually cared” Kazuya sniffled a little “but it was also the day that I was scared because my father wanted to kill you with his bare hands because I loved you so much that I was already for you to take me away with you to an unknown destination where no one can find us, and live happily ever after” kazuya chuckled
“It was like some stupid child’s dream that I wished so badly for it to come true but in the end, I go and fuck everything up, just like my father” Kazuya smirked as jin listened to the younger boy’s blabbering wanting to smile for but it fought against it hearing the other continue
“I don’t know if you’ll ever find it in your heart to forgive me for causing you so much heartbreak all those years” Kazuya smiled sadly “I really wished I could take back all back” kazuya sighed out before giving out a sigh “despite how much I loved you I still couldn’t protect anything of our relationship and it sickens me and makes me hates myself more when I think of the past life that happen” kazuya said biting his lips, quickly wiping his tears away as he chuckled
“I know that a thousand apologise aren’t enough, but I feel that’s all I can do is say I’m so sorry” Kazuya said fisting his hands into his jeans that he was wearing “I love you and I promise I never meant to hurt you…” Kazuya pressed on
“I Just I wanted to free myself from that part of my life, and then build another so that I could live with you hassle free, with only trusting in each other and helping in each other in our dreams” Kazuya said a wipe a few tears away from his eyes “I felt that I have grown up in a lot of ways when I rebelled against, my father, I’ve survived on my own, fighting for my own freedom by using what materials that I had at my disposal and I believe that’s what you taught me Jin; in some ways I think should be thanking you for all those years when we were together” kazuya chuckled once more as from that moment Jin felt his tears running down his cheek as he listened to the younger man poured his heart out to him, the ryu that he knew back then would never pour his heart out to him like this, normally the younger boy would stay silent and never say his heart’s feeling unless he pressed the other about it.
Ryu had really grown up, he wasn’t a little kid anymore; he had matured in so many ways in that moment of listening to him. What was he waiting for? So why couldn’t he just open his eyes and turn to hug this beautiful man tightly. Fighting through the negative thoughts Jin slowly opened his eyes, facing the most stunning sight he had ever seen, how could’ve he yelled at this beautiful boy after 7 years straight in his face over and over again. Seeing the milk skin that he always loved to tease the boy of how the sun hated him, thinking maybe that was why he was so pale compared to him, that flawless smooth skin with that pitch black-brown hair colour blending well with his pale skin. Jin lifted up his hand to reaching for the other; but in that instant he stopped that urge and smiled inside before watching the other get up hid spot walk out the door probably to get some materials he needed because he was sick knowing that the other would be back. For now he just let the other tend to him, he didn’t want to say anything, for now he just wanted to be ridden of this awful cold and then work out his and ryu’s relationship when he can actually stand on his two property again, he couldn’t think straight without a headache getting in the way. Soon enough sleep had overpowered him once again.
“Shit….” Kazuya cursed himself he was going to be late for his lecture, as he quickly pulled out everything that he needed for his class before running towards the kitchen as he grabbed a fresh loaf of bread out of pantry. He hadn’t realised that it was that late already when he was looking after Jin watching the other sleep so soundly. He was happy that he could be that close to Jin again; even if it takes a while to repair all those years lost when they were separated, he would take it a step at a time, now that ryo had given him a second chance and knowing that ryo normally never gives people second chances very easily. So he didn’t want to disappoint the other or lose his trust again knowing it would be his last if he did, after all, Ryo, Pi and Jin were the first friends that he ever had in America. Kazuya smiled himself while chewing on his piece of toast, as the radio in the kitchen turned on itself once he read 9:00am.
“This is Jamaker delacruize, and you’re listening to popasia, the time is now 9:00am. Right now, we have a band who just debuted a few days about already their hit is already dominating the charts with millions of fans wanting to hear their singles, so here it is people ‘DarkenGrey’ with their debut single ‘D-techno Life’
Hide and seek repeated endlessly
It's the intersection of light and dark
The boundary line of you and me
The line is drawn, and separated two people
The eye liner that ran, it made black tears fall
Light that reflects in the eye, the stairway that continues to the sky
The light of the moon dyes my heart, this finger is untied
If even eternity fades, stop this moment
In shallow sleep, gather and paint
Using tools of pictures of dreams and thoughts
Our dance floor is like that
The overlapping moon is a mirror ball
My wish isn't a shooting star, please let it reach you
If everyone is alone, we wouldn't have met
It's a rain of stardust in the mirror, towards the revolving seasons once again
Before long, light will go from the past to the future, so goodbye for now.
The words made hoarse in the chain of sadness, they called out your name, danced in the air
I'm still calling The sky clouds, with dirtied wings, go on and run through now
Will this song be able to play without withering
No matter how much time passes, how much tears dry up? Because I wish to be by your side at that time
Kazuya stopped for a moment as he grinned happily listening to the song, it was really catchy and shirota did have a really good and unique voice that is very clear and catchy and yet soothing at the same time, thinking this kind of song suited the other so well, as mysterious as the other was personality wise he didn’t know what to make out of it but no matter what he thought of the other he knew the other had a real talent for singing that’s for sure
“Yokatta, shirota-san…” Kazuya smiled after when the song had ended kazuya looked at the clock once again that read 9:10am as he squealed that he was going to miss the last bus, finishing his toast quickly in one bite as he grabbed his bag from the chair and his folder on the kitchen table before opening his umbrella and heading out of the house and running towards the bus stop in the heavy rain.
“What a miserable day…” Kazuya thought frowning at the heavy rain, once reaching the bus stop he saw the bus was already driving off kazuya acted quickly running as fast as he could hitting the side of the bus as another boy the other before yelling at the bus driver to stop for the boy. To his relief the driver stopped and to let him as kazuya swiped his card before bowing to the bus driver who smiled shaking his head telling him not to worry.
He quickly made his way onto the bus, as there was only one left which was the boy he saw in the window seeing him wave to the other with a big smile, kazuya made his way to the boy and sat down next to him
“Thank you for asking the bus driver to stop for me…”Kazuya said with a smile as boy just chuckled a little “you’re welcome, it is was last bus after all, then you’d have to wait until the afternoon and seemed like you were in a hurry” the man thoughtfully replied and kazuya nodded “yeah, my lecture starts at 9:30am, I usually catch the 8:30 bus but I woke up late” Kazuya said sheepishly biting his bite in embarrassment
“It’s the first time too...” Kazuya added laughing a little “Oh, you’re a Tokyo university student too?” the boy asked as kazuya nodded once with a smile
“Yeah, I am I’m a Third Year bachelor of music, how about you?” kazuya said “Really? I’m doing the same course as you, just that I’m in my last Year of music degree, just different lectures and tutorials, ha-ha” the boy laughed as kazuya giggled with him. The boy held out his hand with a friendly smile
“Oguri Shun…”the boy said as kazuya shook it “Kamenashi Kazuya” kazuya replied as the boy laugh happily ‘no wonder your father could not find you chose such a name like that …tch…’ Shun smirked in inside but he smiled on the outside
“Geez, that’s a long name man…” the boy laughed again as kazuya pouted “you can just call me kame for short…” Shun smiled “Kame-chan, it is…” the boy called shun smiled happily
“Just a call me in Shun, is fine…” the man said in a friendly gesture “well, this is our stop” Shun announced as kazuya before there they both got off the bus together thanking the bus driver
“I guess I’ll see you around campus then…”Kazuya said as shun nodded “yeah sure thing, see ya later kame chan” shun said as he turned the other way smirked “5 tillion is all mine for the taking…” Shun smirked wider as he chuckled to himself.
It was Midday already as he sighed wanting to know how Jin’s condition was, listening to this boring lecture, he’s rather listen to the boring man on his tapes in the library and doing the work in his own spare time because he knew that he would get much more done. Sitting there trying to be wake and attentive watching the lecturer flap his lips was all he could see and not hear, soon before he knew it the lecture had ended and it was lunch time then they had the tutorials that starts 3pm giving him in enough time to check on the older man.
“KAMENASHI KAZUYA!” Kazuya heard his name being called by his friend who was eyeing him “what is it misaki?” kazuya asked as she pouted at that response not knowing to ask her question when tegoshi pop from the side “She wants to ask why do you have a close relationship to that shirota yuu” Whispered in his ear
“There’s no relationship between him and I and there never will be, he’s just a pain in the ass that will not leave me alone” Kazuya almost immediately outburst shocking Jun and tegoshi for a moment and kazuya sighed “quit looking at me like that, it’s the truth, I only admire him for his music…nothing else” kazuya pressed on making Jun’s pout widened
“What is it about me that celebrities are not attracted to me but attracted to you?” Jun mumbled “for starters, you have an unbelievable stalkers vibe when it comes to celebrities, that I have noticed” Kazuya pointed as tegoshi lifted his finger “and your unbelievable big mouth that can’t keep secrets about anyone, that is a really important fact especially for a celebrity” Tegoshi added as Jun now pouty face turned into an angry pout
“I’m not a stalker and I don’t have a big mouth, and I can keep keeps, I’ve been keeping secrets just like I’m keeping yours how you have the hots for that super h-“Tegoshi covered her mouth again as smiles at the people around them nodding apology to them before glaring at her “I’m sorry…” as kazuya smirked “I think that secrets already anyway…” kazuya smiled sweetly before sticking his tongue out. Tegoshi turned his to the younger boy
“Your one to talk, you’re not any better…”tegoshi raised an eyebrow as that thought hit Jun “by the way, how was it? You know that night of DarkenGrey’s debut to Johnny’s Entertainment?” Jun asked excitedly as kazuya shrugged shyly “nothing happened…”kazuya said in annoyed tone as he remembered that night he just let out sighed but he was smiling on the inside ‘he won’t thank his friend yet, because it hasn’t really started, until that day when his happy ending he will keep his cool for now…” kazuya shrugged giving the same emotionlessly expression towards Jun’s way making confused at that reaction
“Did I say something wrong?” Jun asked her “I don’t know I haven’t decided on that yet, I’ll get back to you on that…” kazuya in the same cold tone like always
“Now, that’s not very nice kame-chan…” Kazuya heard a voice familiar from behind him, making him turn around to be faced with the boy that he had met on the bus on the way to university “Shun, konchiu’wa” kazuya bowed as the boy mere blinked at that before smirking “what’s with the bowing…” the boy said in an uncomfortable tone making kazuya giggle
“sorry, I think it’s just out of habit, Shun, like you to meet my best friends Tegoshi Yuya and Misaki Jun” as the waved as shun before the fixed his eye staring at the girl smirking as Jun mere narrowed her at that expression
“You’re giving me the dirty look already?” Jun asked not liking the way boy was at her “sorry, Shun apologise immediately, I’m was just admiring your beauty, miss Misaki Jun-san…” Shun corrected making misaki blush at that “You’re POOR flattery will not work on me...” Jun said before turning her head away
“Really? When why are your cheeks all red...” tegoshi teased as that earned him a hard kick in the shin but her luck she missed when he looked next to tegoshi tilting her head to the side “eh? Where did kazuya go?” Jun announced in realisation that Kazuya wasn’t standing next to shun or tegoshi anymore tegoshi just shook his head knowing the other had went shrugging his shoulders to the other
“That’s just like you kazuya… always disappearing as usual?” tegoshi chuckled “ba-ka…” tegoshi said knowing where the other went as he turns to the new comer
Jun dragged herself around the university campus shield herself from the heavy rain until she was under the shelter with a big pout present on her face as tegoshi was the first to see it laughing at her when seeing it knowing that she was doing it on purpose because he was seeking attention and playing the sympathy card.
“Quit it with that face already you look like a granny in a young ladies body” Tegoshi said laughing again and Jun pouted more at that statement “why is everyone being so mean…” Jun announced “leave me alone” Jun turned around sulking as Tegoshi only sighed
“What happened? I thought you’d be happy that you were locked up my house with a celebrity?” Tegoshi pressed on before the girl turned to her friend the pout still present on his face “ne, I have a question?” Jun asked curiously “Am I pettier than kazuya?” Jun asked as tegoshi smiling before laughing out loud that statement
“What kind of question is that?” tegoshi smirked before laughing again as Jun more pouted “It’s just….that day with when you left shirotan-san in the house with me, he was asking a lot of question about kazuya? And why I match made him together so this so called Jin …” Jun responded “and well seems as though he was angry with me, and saying how I could do such a thing to my poor and innocent friend, I didn’t understand at all than it hit me…” Jun sighed “kazuya must be really pretty to attract such hot men while I can’t attract celebrities like him, I must not be pretty enough” Jun said with her head low
“As much as I hate people who still my spotlight especially against men, I can’t hate kazuya he’s my friend right? It’s wrong to hate to your best friend, that’s abnormal right?” Jun then asked as Tegoshi just patted the girl on the shoulder with a smile before shaking his head “It just means you a kind-hearted person that’s all and they you don’t have a single hate bone in your body, it’s a rare quality that you have and this is why kazuya and I are your best friends” Tegoshi assured the girl who smiled at that before pouting again
“You make it as though I’m really biased only against the both of you because your both gay” Jun muttered before she even realised once again “oh wait a minute, if shirota likes kazuya that means the leader of DarkenGrey is gay too…”for a moment Jun’s eyes went wide “omg, that means BIG trouble if it’s tr-“Jun mumbled on before she could say anymore tegoshi covered her mouth
“If it was true or not, you shouldn’t say such information to the world like that, you can the man’s reputation especially if they are a celebrity, keep it to yourself geez. No wonder rumours spread so easily, with people like you…” In realisation she stopped struggling and nodded in understanding to the situation as from what the other meant
“Sorry…” Jun apologised once tegoshi removed his hand from his friend’s mouth while sighing “idiot...” as Jun only muttered under her a what whatever and sighed “But you know, I could feel his sadness when I was talking to him in your apartment, even he wouldn’t tell that much but I can tell” Jun just shrugged “what the hell is up with this rain?!” Jun growled “Where did the sun go?” Jun whined at the sudden miserable weather before turning to yuya
“Could it be like those dramas? Where something bad is about to happen…!” Jun suddenly said before yuya pinched her cheek hard “Itai itai! Mou Yuya-chan it hurts itai...” Jun moaned massaging her cheek once tegoshi let go as her pout widened “baka, don’t add your drama fantasies to real life dramas” tegoshi snapped in a whisper glaring at his friend
“Knowing your predictions are normal always accurate, whatever is coming we will embracing it and fight for what is right like we always do…”tegoshi in confidences as Jun merely looked at the other “Are you saying my predictions always bring bad luck?” Yuya smirked “always, so stop thinking, it’s dangerous in your case…that’s probably why it’s raining... ” Yuya said as Jun pout widened at her friend’s statement
“So cruel, making such assumptions…”Jun said to the man sticking her tongue out as she waved before running to her class as tegoshi just smirked at that attitude with a smile as he turned to the rain pelting down really heavily as tegoshi pouted at it thinking this rain had come out of nowhere
As soon as Kazuya unlocked the door he slowly crawled himself through the door and then silently closing it as he than tip toed up to the stairs to check on Jin. Seeing the man was still asleep on the bed a big grinned was presented on his kazuya’s happy features, before closing the door quietly.
He made tip toed his way back down the stairs into the kitchen as he placed his bag and folder onto the couch as he started to prepare late lunch for the older man. Kazuya went on a hunt in the older man’s the ingredients could use to make the perfect American meal that Jin loved the most back then and was pretty sure that Jin’s liking for food hasn’t changed as much unlike him. Once opening the fridge he spotted trays of different sorts of meats laughing at that for a moment.
“The same akanishi alright, way too much protein and not much in vegetables” Kazuya mumbled while he smiled he reached for one of the trays of steak and the little amount of vegetables that he had making use of it all before there over due date runs out.
Meanwhile, upstairs Jin was fidgeting around in his bed until he unwantedly lifted himself up in an upright position from his sleepy slumber yawning on his bed whiling his look around his surroundings before letting out a small cough, remembering last night event. The only thought that when through his mind was, was Ryu really here last night with him somehow he didn’t believe it? He remembered hearing the other pour the truth in his heart that he probably has been keeping inside him all these years just like that night when yamapi was giving the other a piece of his mind only to protect him, thinking he was happy to have such caring and supporting friends in his life to get him through rough time. Jin gave out a sigh as he lifted from the bed to the bathroom. Just as he reached the bathroom door he heard some noise that was coming from his kitchen for a moment he was thinking Yamapi? Who normally comes in to help him cook his meals because he only thing knew how to cook was pumpkin soup from a tinned can, that scared yamapi because he was undernourished or something. Or maybe it was Ryu, with that thought he quickly got ready and out of bed.
He quickly and brushed his teeth and changed in record time, before heading downstairs as the aroma of freshly cooked egg rice porridge hit his nostrils, as soon as he turned the corner to be faced with a person his kitchen couldn’t help but smile at the other knowing that he thoughts were always right. At that moment all Jin could do was stare at the other as he watched him run around in his kitchen looking for things. He had always known the boy to be fast finding things when he came to cooking utensils even back then.
“Oven mitts, oven mitts oven mitts” Jin heard the man repeated over and over again “It’s on the cupboard to your right...” Jin said as the boy nodded as he turned to open the cupboard spotting them with a smile, taking them as he then pulled out the bowl of egg rice porridge out of the oven, with a smile he only then realised the other older man standing next to the door as he blushed at the sight as Jin could see that blush on the other’s cheek which made him smile for more looking being able to hide it from the other
“I-i-m-mmm-m sss-s-ss—ooo-o-orry, how are you feeling?” Kazuya asked as Jin nodded “much better...”Jin replied making kazuya hide a small smile “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be here, I just...um...”Kazuya mumbled “Your friend ryo called me, and said to me that you weren’t feeling well, so I automatically assumed it was my fault then I kept you and Yamashita out that night” kazuya bowed “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to act like that you to know. Forgive me Akanishi-san” Kazuya replied as Jin only watched to the bow constantly he hadn’t seen the other in years and yet all he had done yell at me at their meeting, sending death glares and watched the apologise and bow non – stop. He was the one that should feel guilty right now.
“Well, I’ ve got to get going now, I have uni tutorials start in 1 hr, so I made some sweet egg rice porridge for you, they are really good, I made sure of it, it get you back to your feet no time..” Kazuya happily sliding his bag back onto his back as walked up to the man standing a safe distance from the other smiling.
“I left some medication on the table and make sure you get a lot of rest, kay?” Kazuya smiled before turning away, Jin has seen that back to many times, the first time he couldn’t do anything, the second and third time anger got the better of him, but now, right now for the fourth is was about to let the other walk out on him again now that he knew the truth
“I know that a thousand apologise aren’t enough, but I feel that’s all I can do is say I’m so sorry
“I love you and I promise I never meant to hurt you…”
“don’t go” Jin mumbled just the other didn’t hear, as soon as reached the door he felt himself being pulled backwards feeling those pair of strong arms that he had missed so much
“Don’t go Ryu….”The younger man heard the older man this time as he could feel the tears trickle down his cheeks “Just for a few minutes, I promise I will not make you late to class, just for now, let me hold you..Ryu..” At that moment, the younger man bit his lip as more tears started to fall from his cheeks but now they were tears of joy. To have Jin’s around him again he was so happy to wished time stopped here, he had no idea what the future was going to bring but for his mind was full with the thoughts of Jin that’s all that mattered right now nothing else