January 19th, 2008

Start of the new year today '08


wow! Happy Belated New Year! i still can't believe how fast 2007 as gone, its been like ages since i wrote all my thoughts in this xanga journal, i  figured i'm going to start again starting from now.

Today was my friend Takumi's birthday today, i feel bad that i couldnt celebrate with him because i was at work and so was he. i need to celebrate my friends birthday more often these i'm such a friend, and also have to admitt i want to get out more now that i have a car, i should be driving but because of the stupid double long weekend my parents have been driving me everywhere *sighs* I Belinda do seriosuly need a break fom life wants a life to relaxing i like i'm on a boat that's refrained to do anything outside, i think only freedom i have is at my sister unit, its the best palce ever i believe she wants to rent it out WAHHHH! she's so mean..!!!  ARGH!!! nuuuuuuu! i like it because he's peacful to place by myself to be with my coolest blood sister, i have a lot to thank her for! you hear that sis you ROCK!!!! I think she the best highlight of my 2007 and not to mention my best friend in the world ever "joyfulness" you who you are right xD

Ever since i got facebook account i met with some of them whom i havent talked to in ages, and nice to people have changed a lot of specially yin i still can't believe your in university already i still see you an yr.10 high school kid who use to strange faces during the middle of service hhahahah! and also not to mention the screws up on the overhead projector AND sunday school i was like the oldest in the class and the smartiest! BWAHAHAHA! i'm sorry yinny but it was so true. its seem life is expanding way too fast for me its kinda scary i look at all the things that have through life that makes who i am now and where i am now, i had my up and downs in life and also i believe my friends and my family make me a strong to who i am today and i'm of it so to all my beloved friends out there whom i have met or friends that i haven't meet yet beware the Belinda is coming to invade you privacy this year!!!!!! its the new yea after all 2008 here we come!

I hate my Aunties on my dad's side...

This Morning i was in bed sleeping and the phone rang this morning , the answering machine got the message, i was half a sleep and i couldnt hear what the message was saying my room was on the other side of the hallway where the lundary was.. i only my sister and mum talking about it....

I couldn't hear properly but i knew it was something about my grandfather who was staying with us... he went to my aunty's house  on a wednesday becuse i'm aunty's from my mum's side were coming over from malaysia to sdtya with us and we only have one spare room and we don't want our grandpa to stay in the hallway in the tv room because it is really cold out there and so we said you can over at one of his daughters houses for the time being...

when got up this morning everyone was angry i didnt know why i just my what was going on, she that aunty helen (where my grandpa was staying with her) called this morning and treathened us that if we didn't take him home by  9am she put him on a taxi back to our house, my grandpa doesn't know how to get around this places in australia becuase his english is not very good .. there he can't communicate to the outside world...  she my grandpa on the phone and saying in hokkgian "frank (my dad's name, is his son) take him back to his house, he does not want stay there anymore" my sister me to listen to the answering machine so i went to the answering machine to listen when i heard the message i was crying my eyes out softly, i don't know why they would treat only father like that... when we came from the markets my grandpa was on the couch, he had swollen red eyes from that moment on i was in shocked i've seen my grandpa cry so much in my life since i've known him...*excuse my language*... MY AUNTY'S FUCKEN AUNTY'S ARE NOT FUCKEN CHRISTIANS THEY ARE FUCKEN BITCHES!!!!!

I did believe they would be so cruel, his own daughters treat him like hell ...THAT'S FUCKEN SELFISH !!!!!!!!!!! THEY ALL LIKE PISS OFF ON HOLIDAYS SO THEY HAVE TO TAKE GRANDPA TO STAY THEY JUST DUMP HIMAT OUR HOUSE,  We don't mind its just that we aren't home everyone in our family works and comes home late at like 10 -11 pm everyday the only we can be with him is a sunday ... I feel sorry my grandpa, i telling myself to love father i really hard i alwys respect my dad but becuase he can't be respected and i myself from today i will never treat my father like that when gets older, i will after him no matter what or i look after him anymore i'll put him in a nursery right near me and visit me everyday... that's the promise i made to myself today...

Realise the Destiny

 One Born of the heart and darkness
devoid of the hearts, ravage all
worlds and bring delsolation.

Seize all hearts and
consummates the great heart.
All hearts to be one,
one heart, to encompass all

Realise the Destiny

The Realm of kingdom hearts.
The great darkness sealed within the great heart

Progony of darkness, come
back to the eternal darkness

For the heart of light shall
unseal the path

Seven hearts, one keyblade,
one key to the door.

The door of darkness
tied by two keys
The door of darkness to
deal the light.

None shall pass but shadows
returning to the darkness

One born of the heart and darkness, hunger for
every heart until the dark door opens

Love Triangle

Have you ever been in a Love Triangle? If so tell me how you get out of it...

My First Love, returned to Australia a year ago, i thought he didn't recognise who i was but he knew... and now i feel like i've betrayed myself and him... I feel an idiot for not telling Tatsayusa about it, i can't tell tats why Chris Yang, Tatsayusa friend in uni that i use date him and now he is trying to take me away from him... *closes my eyes*

I dunno what to do.. *bites my lips* i feel like my heart is about to explode out of confusion... why did he have to come back, Tatsayusa is gonna hate me if i tell him the truth, *cries* I love more any other person in this world, i guess what i'm trying to say how to push my ex away to make him understand to leave me alone, i wish he could forget about me and just be my friend but its just so hard to do that.. *sighs* nani mor dounta deru?